Young and in Love: Challenging the Unnecessary Delay of Marriage
Ted Cunningham
David C. Cook, 2011, 224 pp., $14.95
In Young and in Love, pastor and author Ted Cunningham wastes little time before setting the reader straight as to what his intentions are in this book.
I am a pro-marriage pastor. I believe God created marriage to be enjoyed between a man and woman for a lifetime. The only part of creation that God declared as “not good” was man’s singleness; and throughout Scripture marriage is normative, while singleness is the exception. So, young men need to start approaching young women, falling in love, and getting married because it’s biblical. I believe Satan has duped our culture into believing the lie that says, “Marriage is the problem, not man.” He (Satan) has convinced us that one of the best ways to prosper in life is to abstain from marriage or at least delay it as long as possible.
Young and in Love is the author’s thesis on marriage and current cultural norms. It is written with great passion, conviction, volume and at times is argumentative. He loves marriage; he believes in marriage; he believes it is one of God’s greatest gifts to us; and he has a disdain for any and all who would threaten the institution or even encourage its delay. He sounds the trumpet; he beats the drum; he believes we, the church, have gone down the wrong path; and we must change our course now!
For the majority of young people, purity talks are not working. In order to fix them, should we change what we believe about purity? Absolutely not! In our churches and homes, we need to repackage the message and refocus on honoring marriage. We have minimized the beauty of desire, our bodies and covenental heterosexual marriage. Meanwhile, Satan has stepped through the crack in the door and duped us into believing marriage is the problem, that men and women cannot make it together and should avoid the institution altogether.
The author is an exhorter; in this book he is encouraging young people to date, fall in love and not delay marriage. He believes that marrying later…after college, travel and financial stability, has had negative consequences on the culture which include: eradicating the positive influence of grandparents; delaying adulthood; and self-centeredness and independence.
His message to those who are single is to get married and be wary of the organizations or leaders who would influence otherwise: I know of several residential parachurch ministries that train high school and college graduates. Many of the leaders who run these organizations deter their students from dating in order to focus on studies and their relationship with Christ. Be on guard against any ministry that deters 20-somethings from dating. When you’re single and surrounded by hundreds of other singles, that’s the perfect time to find someone and get married. If you find yourself in a school or organization that has a policy against dating, you must submit to that authority and honor that policy; but boy or boy, you better be looking!
Cunningham is clear on his get-married message. He is consistent in that message, as well for those who have experienced divorce. It troubles him to see the effects of single-parent homes on children and passionately advocates for remarriage.
All in all, this book will motivate you to evaluate your relationship if you happen to be married and challenge you to look at your ministry to see if you may have fallen into the subtle cultural norm Mr. Cunningham warns against.
