A new study by Harvard’s Graduate School of Education finds that middle school and high school students are more concerned with their own well-being than those of others.  About 80 percent of the 10,000 students polled ranked personal achievement and happiness over caring for others. One-fifth of students said that caring for others was their number one goal.

Why is empathy not valued as much? Researchers say it may have something to do with the mixed messages that adults, particularly parents, send these kids. While we may encourage children to be empathetic and caring, our own actions speak to how important it is to achieve. Indeed, while nearly all parents said that raising moral, caring kids was “very important, if not essential,” four-fifths of the kids themselves said their parents were “more concerned about achievement or happiness than caring for others.”

Study author Richard Weissbourd, a psychologist at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government and School of Education, was a bit dismayed by the results.

“We were especially surprised and troubled to find how many youth value aspects of achievement over caring and fairness,” he wrote. “We were also surprised by what seems to be a clear gap between what parents say they’re prioritizing and the messages that youth are picking up day today. We need to take a hard look at the messages we’re sending to children about success versus concern for others and think about how we can send different messages.” (The Atlantic)

Paul Asay has written for The Washington Post, Christianity Today, Beliefnet.com and The (Colorado Springs) Gazette. He writes about culture for PluggedIn and wrote the Batman book God on the Streets of Gotham (Tyndale). He recently collaborated with Jim Daly, president of Focus on the Family, on his book The Good Dad. He lives in Colorado Springs with wife, Wendy, and his two children. Follow him on Twitter.