For example, youth leaders may be privy to certain conversations about other church leadership. Sometimes other staff members will talk about the senior pastor, music director or office staff. What does a youth leader do with these discussions? These conversations—particularly if they are biting or judgmental—need to be guarded and not shared. Likewise, information (whether gossip or factual points) doesn’t need to be shared with others just because one has overheard them.
These trusts are often difficult to maintain—but they are vital to the overall health and welfare of any church or staff. Likewise, effective youth leaders know how to listen well, but also know how to guard confidences and private information.
Throughout my years of working with teenagers and parents, the only confidences I could not keep involved those that clearly centered on the health and well-being of children or teens. These included thoughts of suicide or any kind of abuse—and youth leaders can make it clear these always will be shared with other adults or authorities, as these issues involve the safety and well-being of minors. This is clearly understood. Beyond these, trust is vital.
Effective youth leaders, in time, learn much about many teenagers and their families. This is not a bad thing, but a gift of grace. It is a privilege to be invited into the hurts, pains and joys of our families and their struggles.That is why we all depend on God to help us make wise decisions and know how to help teenagers and their families in their discernment and in the steps needed to help.
