You have to do more, you have to succeed, and you have to be the best.

This is the mantra of the American Dream, and I had accepted it wholeheartedly. I wanted to have an awesome walk with God, be the best youth ministry pastor, be an excellent student and go for a Ph.D., and be a model husband. But, as I sat in my house one day, I felt like my American Dream had turned into a nightmare.

Like most in the church in America, I had spiritualized the American Dream. Instead of spiritual aspects, I focused on worldly ones, such as increasing numbers in the youth group by planning fantastic events.

I am sure all of us can remember an incident in the last month where we were asked, “How many youth do you have in your youth ministry?” But how many of us can remember the last time someone asked, “Where are you and your youth spiritually?” Would we even know the answer?

My focus in youth ministry had become doing whatever it takes to get the job done, to succeed and be the best. The result? As I sat in my chair that day, I was ready to walk away from it all. Mentally, I was ready to give up. The constant pressures of trying to increase the numbers of youth group, comparing my ministry with other youth ministries, and trying to stay relevant with youth culturehad left me stressed out and malnourished spiritually.

In Search of God’s Dream

Overwhelmed, I decided to spend some time with God. I opened my Bible, and it turns out this is exactly where God wanted me. By the end of Psalm 27, I had found the relief I desperately sought. God had truly revealed Himself to me in the last verse. It states, “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” (NRSV). I sat there trying to think of the last time I had waited on God to speak to me before I moved on from my prayer time to my daily tasks.

I realized how truly erroneous my mentality of All go! Be the best! was. The stress I had created in my life with this mindset was not what God had desired for me. The Psalms are full of references to being still or waiting upon God (see, for example, Psalms 37:7, 46:10 and 130:5). I decided it was time to heed their advice.

Waking up from the American Dream, I have stopped trying to be the best youth pastor. Instead, I have added more time in my schedule to wait on God. The more time I spent with God, I learned that true success in God’s eyes is not measured by how many youth I am ministering to, but by whether or not I am doing what God desires. As I grasped this new definition of success, the burdens that weighed me down before began to fade away.

I may never receive a Ph.D. I might not even be that successful of a youth pastor. But, I am OK with this because I am gaining a new vision. Like the psalmist, I am learning a new definition of success and spiritual growth. It’s not to create the largest youth group or be a high-profile person in youth ministry. It is to wait on God and follow the dream He gives me, whether it’s monumental or the size of a mustard seed.

Seth Vopat and his wife, Beth, live in Overland Park, Kans., where Seth serves as the youth pastor of Stilwell First Baptist Church. He is currently attending Central Baptist Theological Seminary.