YouthWorker Journal writer Ron Jackson interviewed four experts on surviving and ministering during crisis. Dr. Allen Jackson (no relation), Professor of Youth Education at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, has worked with others to address the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.
Beth Lueders is an author and award-winning journalist who has documented stories in nearly 20 countries. Her latest books are Two Days Longer: Discovering More of God as You Wait on Him and Lifting Our Eyes: Finding God’s Grace Through the Virginia Tech Tragedy. Beth is founder and director of MacBeth Communications, a writing and editorial business in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
Matt Rogers knows the pain of depression, doubt and grief. As co-pastor of New Life Christian Fellowship at Virginia Tech, he’s been able to use his four-year battle with doubt and depression to help many students understand and find ways to cope with their own struggles. He is the author of Losing God and When Answers Aren’t Enough: Experiencing God as Good When Life Isn’t.
Heather Snodgrass was a Young Life leader at Columbine High School from 1998 until 2004. She is currently the Children’s Ministry Director and Youth Leader at Ames Baptist Church in Oklahoma.
Here’s what Ron found out:
YouthWorker Journal: All of you have dealt with major crises. What did you learn along the way?
Matt Rogers: In times of crisis, our students need to be surrounded by the body of Christ, mainly the people they know love them and can represent God to them at a time when they might not be able to feel God’s presence on their own.
Beth Lueders: One of the big things I’vev learned is everyone reacts, responds and grieves differently. Crisis for one person might not be crisis for another. Individuals even within the same family may react differently to a particular situation. We need to develop sensitivity to the fact that others might not react to a crisis in the same way we might.
Heather Snodgrass: For most of us we hear about tragedy in front page news, but it fades away pretty quickly. For those of us who were in the tragedy or giving care to students who were, it was a long time before things returned to normal. Right after Columbine, we heard a lot about how “God is good.” Honestly, as time wore on, it became more difficult actually to believe that. It taught me a lot about my own faith, and most importantly, that Christ is sufficient for all our hurts and struggles.
YWJ: What is the best advice you would give to youth workers about how can we can help our students in times of crisis?
Allen Jackson: Simple things like a hug, a pat on the back, words of encouragement or saying, “I don’t have any answers, but I’m praying for you,” are much more helpful than a knee-jerk desire to answer every question somebody (who is) suffering has.
Beth: One of the things we learned about teenagers was their desire after or during a crisis simply to be together. Gathering together with friends, not letting anyone be a loaner, or creating a place where teens can cry on someone’s shoulder are very important in helping them after a crisis.
Heather: Be there! After Columbine, one of the reasons we were so effective was that we were there before it happened. In fact, one of the members of our team was actually in the cafeteria when the shootings took place. A bunch of us joined with the parents who were waiting at the elementary school down the street. Then for the next several weeks, about 16 hours a day, we were just with kids. From attending funerals and memorial services with students to simply hanging out with them, we were just with them.
YWJ: There are big crises, such as Columbine and Katrina; and more intimate crises, the rape or death of a student. Should youth workers handle these the same way, or are they too different?
Heather: In big crises, you are looking out for a lot of people who are dealing with a lot of feelings and emotions. Some are in the middle of it; some are simply on the edges looking in. When you are dealing with someone one-on-one, it can be easier to be more intentional and focused.
Matt: I think everyone who experiences pain does so personally. All tragedy—whether it is on a large scale affecting thousands of people or on a personal level—is felt the same way. For either type of crisis, as youth workers, we have to walk softly around a broken heart.
Allen: In a crisis such as Katrina, we shared our pain with thousands of people, but there is nothing widespread about a mother or father who has lost a child or a student who has been raped. These are very personal, very intimate. One of the best things we can do in the very personal types of crisis is find someone who has been through something similar and get them with the victim as soon as we can.
YWJ: What are some of the warning signs a young person may be dealing with issues that could lead to tragedy?
Allen: There are the textbook things: behavioral changes, changes in relationships, attendance patterns, dress, etc. If we are in relationship with our students, we have those “duh” moments when we simply know something is going on. We need to be aware.
Matt: When we notice mood changes, behavior changes and especially if someone is talking about hurting themselves, we have to take these things seriously. We need to be willing to ask questions and investigate.
Heather: We need to pay close attention to the students who are “pretending to be OK.” These students tend to be closed off in the conversation and for the most part withdrawn from the discussion. After Columbine, the students who were honest about what they were feeling were able to heal and move on more quickly than the students who simply pretended things were fine.
Beth: Unfortunately, many times that insight comes in hindsight. Like the tragedy at Virginia Tech, in talking about Cho, people would say things like, “Oh we missed that sign,” or, “We should have noticed that.” We should be watching for alienation on the part of a student.
YWJ: What about the adults who work with kids in horrible situations? How can we prevent ourselves from becoming so emotionally or physically spent that we have our own crises?
Matt: First thing is don’t take responsibility for someone else’s action. Whatever a student has chosen to do, they have made that choice; not you. Surround yourself with good friends—people who encourage you and make you laugh. Spend time with God. Finally, find some things you enjoy doing and do them.
Beth: I think anyone who is in a caregiving situation always should be looking for a healthy balance. Sometimes we just have to say to ourselves, “You know, I’ve done what I can do, and I have to give these young people over to God and trust that He is going to take care of them.”
Allen: Our own physical fitness is very important. Don’t ever underestimate the power of endorphins. There are multiple studies documenting the fact that the stress level of ministry is on the same level as neurosurgery. We may have all the mental resources to deal with crises, but if we don’t have the physical resources, we don’t even realize there is a stress time-bomb ticking inside us.
YWJ: Is there anything else we need to know about working through crises?
Heather: One of the biggest things for me was when I finally realized it could be a long time before I saw the fruit of my labor among these students. Often we are looking for immediate feedback from our efforts. We need to be patient and trust that God is working in the lives of our students—even when we can’t see anything right now.
Beth: We need to remind ourselves part of our responsibility is to bring people to the truth. Often when we are dealing with crises, our emotions get so involved, suddenly everything seems so extreme. We need to bring the person back gently and slowly to the centering ground of God’s Word and who He is.
Allen: As youth workers, we have to be willing to intervene in crises. Our culture doesn’t want to be involved. One reason youth ministers ignore warning signs is because they know intervention can be risky. We know intervening in a crisis could cost us our relationship with our students, but we have to be willing to take the risk.
Matt: One of the most encouraging things when I was in my depression was when someone said, “Look, you didn’t get into this situation over night, so you’re not getting out over night either.” He was the first person in four years who admitted this thing was going to take time to heal. That was much more beneficial to me than all the quick-fix, easy solutions so many other well-intentioned people had suggested to me.
